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Premature ejaculation
- Causes -
1) What are the causes of premature ejaculation ?
Although there is a small body of research starting to emerge suggesting that it may be a medical disorder, or at least have an organic component, most sex therapists look toward psychological explanations for Premature ejaculation:
- Early Sexual Experiences. Some men have early sexual experience that conditioned rapid responsiveness (such as masturbating quickly to avoid getting caught by parents, visiting prostitutes, etc) that still persists.
- Performance anxiety. This is anxiety that is activated in sexual situations creating a vicious cycle of performance pressures. Frequently this pattern is seen in new relationships.
- Missing internal cues. Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D., who wrote "The new Male Sexuality" interviewed men who could last a long time sexually to discover their secrets. Unlike premature ejaculators, these men were better able to identify their point of "ejaculatory inevitability" (that point where ejaculation cannot be stopped), and take corrective action before that point is reached.
- Low Arousal Levels or Low Sex Desire.
The sexual response can be seen as proceeding through three levels: Desire, Arousal, and Orgasm. With premature ejaculation, sometimes the real problem is insufficient sex desire to start with - or - lack of true arousal. Believe it or not, it is entirely possible for a man to have a decent erection without 100% sex desire and even without full arousal.
If this is the case, the premature ejaculator actually needs to be turned on more -not less- to allow him more control over his ejaculations.
2) What are the causes of premature ejaculation ?
Most men have experienced this problem at some time in their life. Premature ejaculation was once thought to be caused by drugs or certain infections such as urethritis, but popular wisdom suggests it is more psychological in nature. The exact cause of the condition, however, still remains a mystery.
Premature ejaculation often occurs during the first experiences with sex, and in this case is most commonly attributed to anxiety. The majority of men gradually learn to control their orgasm, and have no lasting effect. Some men will develop a longer-term anxiety toward sex, which can cause a prolonged experience with premature ejaculation.
Sexual behavior is also a factor. The longer the period since last ejaculating, the quicker young men typically reach orgasm. Younger men tend to ejaculate more quickly than older men, as experience seems to be associated with ejaculatory control.
3) What are the causes of premature ejaculation ?
It seems logical that our prehistoric male ancestors were all rapid ejaculators. The Homo Erectus who could couple quickly with his mate and rapidly reach ejaculation was then free to deal with enemy tribesman and predatory sabre-toothed tigers.The slowpoke got clubbed or eaten. Therefore, only rapid ejaculators survived long enough to sire descendants. Thus, if speed of ejaculation were hereditary, we all should have fast ejaculatory reflexes.
Obviously, the above theory cannot be proven; however, it does contain an element of truth. It is probably "natural" for healthy males to ejaculate quickly. Lasting longer serves no genetic function that we know of.
Lasting is a learned behavior, like learning to dance. It can prolong and intensify pleasure for a man. Also, many women like to experience orgasm - or have been socially conditioned to enjoy orgasm - when the erect penis is inside them. To reach orgasm this way often requires periods of more or less continuous stimulation by the penis.
Premature ejaculation is sometimes also caused or aggravated psychological factors such as guilt, fear, and performance anxiety.
The first thing a male must hold in mind is that good sex is unhurried sex. The longer he spends in foreplay prior to his first orgasm, the stronger and more enjoyable that first orgasm will be. The compacting of blood in the sex organs builds slowly, inflating the tissues and sensitizing the millions of nerve endings in and around the genitals.
Think of an orgasm like a balloon: the longer you blow air into it, the bigger it gets and the louder the bang when it pops.
Orgasm consists of two stages. One begins with the prostate gland, which encircles the urethra like a tiny donut above the base of the penis, contracts and releases its fluids, along with the contents of the seminal vesicle, into the urethra. To most males this feels like you are going to start a good sneeze, but it's too late to stop. Stage two is similar to the sneeze itself. The pelvic muscle contracts strongly around the bulb, forcing the fluid out under considerable pressure.
Orgasm is what a man feels when all this is happening. He has probably learned for himself that it is possible to ejaculate without having an orgasm, but he may not yet realize that he can also have an orgasm without ejaculating. That's exactly what you want to learn to do.
The average male in his twenties takes less than three minutes from the time of insertion till he comes. This cheats him of a lot of fun and satisfaction and doubly cheats the unfortunate female he prematurely has an orgasm into.
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