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Definition
Premature ejaculation is one of the most common sexual problems. The condition is most often described as being an inability to delay ejaculation to a point when it is mutually desirable for both partners.
The definition of when ejaculation is premature is subjective. While some men have trouble controlling their orgasm upon entry, others consider 5-10 minutes of copulation too little time. How long a man is able to last is not the important factor in diagnosing premature ejaculation. The crucial issue is if a man is satisfied with the length of coitus.
Causes
Although there is a small body of research starting to emerge suggesting that it may be a medical disorder, or at least have an organic component, most sex therapists look toward psychological explanations for premature ejaculation:
- Early Sexual Experiences. Some men have early sexual experience that conditioned rapid responsiveness (such as masturbating quickly to avoid getting caught by parents, visiting prostitutes, etc) that still persists.
- Performance anxiety. This is anxiety that is activated in sexual situations creating a vicious cycle of performance pressures. Frequently this pattern is seen in new relationships.
- Missing internal cues. Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D., who wrote "The new Male Sexuality" interviewed men who could last a long time sexually to discover their secrets. Unlike premature ejaculators, these men were better able to identify their point of "ejaculatory inevitability" (that point where ejaculation cannot be stopped), and take corrective action before that point is reached.
- Low Arousal Levels or Low Sex Desire.
The sexual response can be seen as proceeding through three levels: Desire, Arousal, and Orgasm. With premature ejaculation, sometimes the real problem is insufficient sex desire to start with - or - lack of true arousal. Believe it or not, it is entirely possible for a man to have a decent erection without 100% sex desire and even without full arousal.
If this is the case, the premature ejaculator actually needs to be turned on more -not less- to allow him more control over his ejaculations.
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